Friday, January 20, 2006

Good Lord, am I Responsible for This?

LID readers, your blogger is in trouble! I need Pepto, stat! Seems there's a mighty fine restaurant chain that's lovingly invaded southeast Michigan, named Cici's Pizza. Behold the only thing greater than yourself: all the pizza you can eat for $5, all day long. So I did what any freedom-loving American would do...ate myself into submission. And they make it so easy: salad (not that I wasted time with that), 16 different kinds of pizza, including topping favorites such as pepperoni and oddballs such as mac 'n cheese, and 3 desserts. Many crusts later, my wife loaded my body atop the car and drove me home. All while I wore a spiffy new Kenneth Cole black V-neck sweater with alternating thick 'n thin white stripes. (I hope you've been reading long enough to know I'm a big KC fan)

Super Bowl XL: Turning Detroit into Los New York Angeles

What's that sound? Why, it's the Super Bowl a-comin'! Super Bowl XL is steaming into Detroit this year, and the Local Uppities are praying it makes everyone realize our fair town is a teeming megapolis that should be #1 on every American's vacation list and every CEO's business relocation list. Of course, that would be great, but first we need to get the small things going. That's why our many abandoned storefronts are having pictures of children hung in the windows...who doesn't love cute little kids? Especially when their inanimate cardboard eyes are witnessing drug deals and trick-turns right in front of them? OK, I'm really just jealous I can't get into one of the roughly ten google (yes kids, it really was a word before a company name) Super Bowl parties charging $500+ to get in. But I'm still expecting Diddy or Kanye to call me at the last second, apologizing profusely for forgetting to send out my invitation and assuring me a chopper will pick me up in the backyard for rooftop delivery at the club. Sorry for all the prepositions in that last sentence.

Ro-ker, Ro-ker, Ro-ker

My boy David Cho (ok, never really met him) has an interesting and hypnotic animated image of Al Roker on his blog. It's mighty freaky, and I'm especially wondering what that guy who suddenly pops in and out of the picture is doing. Is he feeling on Al's shenanny? Let's hope not. Of course, Roker mind tricks have no effect on me...he's been my main man for years now; and who doesn't love "Roker on the Road" on the Food Network? Although I do think it's funny that, since his stomach is now the size of a pepperoni slice, he can only sample a nanogram of each restaurant's offerings. Mmm...nothing satisfies a man like a thimble-full of food!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Lions Win the Super Bowl!

Those could be the words we hear next year now that the Detroit Lions appear to have hired former Buccaneers DL Coach Rod Marinelli. Well, not quite. I feel bad for the guy already, since the Lions have a knack for bringing good coaches to their knees. We're the coaching graveyard; no Lions coach in my lifetime has gone on to head coach another team. Although I've got a soft spot for pudgy ol' Marty Moerningweig (too lazy to look up spelling), especially the dorky way he said "I got it at Freed's" in the commercial for Freed's of Windsor (who makes a fine suit, by the way). Good luck to the guy, though (Rod, not Marty)...prove us all wrong, Marinelli!

Go Go Transit Map!

Very cool map of North American transit systems all displayed on one page. Geeky? Maybe, but I'm a sucker for this kind of thing. Note the tiny "doink" that represents Detroit and our glorious People Mover, the itty-bitty one-way ride to nowhere. You can walk to most of the People Mover stations...a majority of the stops are within three blocks of each other, and there's only like 12 stops. Oh how I long to one day commute to work on the trains of the New York City, Philadelphia or DC! Reading the paper while listening to my iPod seems way better than driving white-knuckled through traffic jams (and think about how hard it is for a black guy to get white knuckles).

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Biggie Smalls Said It Best...

...when he said "somebody 'bout to die." One hour, fourteen minutes into American Idol, Simon is definitely on point with his evil cracks. Eventually he'll just stop speaking and disembowel the next horrid singer through their belly button. Unless Paula does it to him first. Right now my money's on the two Chicago twins, Daryl and Taryl, to make it to the finals. Chitown in the hizzy!

Carry On, Kenneth Cole

Oh no! Evidently my favorite clothing designer, Kenneth Cole, is having a bit of trouble. Seems sales have slowed the past few years. Everybody go out and buy Kenneth Cole! His designs are minimalist yet still offer enough of a bang to be noticeable. See his Spring 2006 collection after the jump. And he's not too expensive, either. While I'm shilling, don't you want a Fanta Fanta?!

Have You Seen My Son, Buckwheat?

(photo courtesy of E Network, via Steve Granitz/WireImage.com)

I hate to say this about a fellow brothaman, in fact, no I don't...I'm tired of all these nappy headed negros! I'm speaking out! I'm also tired of all these commercials that show a bunch of white dudes with one black friend, because of course all white guys' cliques have one black friend. And he's usually a NHN. How about a spot with a bunch of black dudes and one white friend? Anyway, if you're a fan of "Lost", you'll recognize this as Michael, who's always looking for his son Walt, although I still say he's looking for his son Buckwheat in this photo. I'm not a hater though...I like the guy, and I can't wait to see his character go insane this week, as the previews would have us believe.

24, I Bow Before Thee


Yes my friends, I have a feeling Jack will be poppin' many caps this season, and I couldn't be happier. Frankly, I'm surprised he eliminated President Palmer's killer with just one shot. One of these days I'll get the cap-o-meter going. I'm already ready to watch the next 20 episodes, but sadly I've got to wait 20 weeks...the writers make it so tough, with their great cliffhangers and all. "Necessary Bitchslap of the Week" award goes to President Logan, who needs several fresh ones. Honorable Mention to that kid who gets on my nerves, who one minute is all "Jack I hate you" and now he's "Jack, I'm so sorry I f'ed up." And what about the new guy from Division, who we start out hating, then loving (hmm...we sound like Honorable Mention boy I just described). It's 24's world; I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Sucks for Peyton, but Why, Cowher?

The game I looked forward to all weekend long was the Colts-Steelers game. Poor Peyton, couldn't get props at the Heisman Awards (long live Michigan's Charles Woodson, who Tennessee Volunteer fans still hate as a result), can't beat the Patriots til 2005, now still can't win a playoff game. But I had to suffer through the Detroit Lions this season, so I don't feel sorry for him. But what I don't get is this: why did Steeler Coach Cowher try to run the ball instead of taking a knee when they had the lead with just over a minute to go? They could've run the clock out with less than four downs, since the play clock is 45 seconds. A bit of rust on the iron jaw, perhaps?

Number One

Welcome to the opening salvo of my new blog, Lost in Detroit!

I won’t start with any of that “here’s what my blog’s about” stuff…you can read the About section for that. Let’s jump right in.

This weekend I went to the restaurant at the Marshall Field’s department store. For anyone who’s ever been annoyed by long menus, this place is for you. Only 13 non-salad entrees are available (I don’t bother counting salads, since a meal should actually fill me up). And those 13 items aren’t exactly awe-inspiring, either. Mmmm…Turkey Cobb sandwich with fries so thin they make Paris Hilton look fat…oh look, there’s something new; a cheeseburger! Marshall Field’s trumpets the fact that their menu is planned by folks such as Tyler Florence and Marcus Samuelson. Good chefs, yes, but some less mundane (and more plentiful) food would be in order. So we ended up getting a cheeseburger and a chicken sandwich that I swear to God tasted like a Big Mac. I have a feeling the kitchen staff got out the ol’ ski masks and jacked a McDonald’s truck (and you know you’ve thought about doing that yourself every time you pull up next to, say, a Hostess truck). Not that I would, mind you, because I love Hostess and am averse to litigation, but you know you would.

But onto bigger news: 24 is back on Fox!!! Other than Project Runway, which is a different kind of love, I’ve never felt more anticipation for a show. As all loyal viewers now know, President Palmer took a bullet in the neck. I had a feeling he’d be the one to go, since last season saw him saying goodbye to Jack forever. And the opening credits listed Dennis Haysbert as a Special Guest Star, meaning “he ain’t in any other episodes.” Plus when Palmer was all extra-reflective (and I don’t mean in a mirror) near the window, you knew he was gonna go. Wait til Jack hears about this, I thought…he’s gonna be cappin’ some mofo’s now! But then Michelle was killed in a car bomb, with Tony hanging on for dear life…I don’t think anybody was expecting that shit! Even more surprising was Chloe getting her badonkadonk on. Spencer thought he could boink her into acting like a normal person for once, but alas it was not to be true. Anyhow, it set up a good second-half premiere for tonight. Can’t wait!

Happy MLK Day!