Bryant Gumbel's Magic Toilet

The Dizza is a huge fan of the show Live with Regis and Kelly. That's right. You got a problem with that? For me it's all about Regis, though...he's the man (although somehow, Philbin-ness doesn't come close to Cosbyness (which is next to Godliness). But today Bryant Gumbel sub'ed for Reege, and told a story that amazed the audience--and the Dizza! Apparently he just installed a Toto toilet, which is the Mercedes-Benz of porcelain thrones. As the audience ooo'ed and aaaa'ed, he described how the toilet senses your presence when you enter the room, automatically flipping the lid up and warming up the seat. This Donald Trump of toilets also has a water weight sensor, so with every "delivered package" the toilet automatically flushes. Then when you're done, a mere button press delivers an oscillating stream of (clean) warm water to your "delivery route", then gently dries you with warm air! The Dizza's birthday is this Tuesday the 25th, and I want one! No, wait...I want two! Will anyone "gently deliver" a Toto to me?