Refried Bean

Let me saunter on over to the mail chute (that's right, no walking outside for The Dizza! I can pick up the mail from the comfort of my own foyer...that's pronounced "foy-yay" because I'm into making up names for the rooms in my house). Oh look! The LL Bean catalog for Fall! It's amazing I even still get this thing, since I haven't ordered anything from them since Fall 1995--and then it was just a winter hat. But hey, it's their marketing dollars, not mine. And speaking of, my oh my is the catalog woefully ill-timed! Let's look at some of the wares...hmmm, the "Rag Wool Sweater" on page 12 looks nice and all, but did I mention it's 92 degrees today? All I'm tryin' to do is cool my ass off! Well, and the rest of me, too. So where the description mentions the sweater is perfect for "a cold winter afternoon," all I can think about is sitting outside butt-naked on said cold afternoon so I can cool off a bit. Result? Sorry LL, you're getting thrown in the recycling bin. And can I just say I'm proud of myself for avoiding any corny reference to LL Cool J, although his name does sound cold and refreshing right about now. D'oh! So much for avoiding the corny reference!